What another week of insane emotional ups and downs.
In the attempt to wrap my head around last week's news I took to the internet to educate myself on all things IVF. I'm learning that this is my way of dealing with things. Some new life altering situation arises? Ellis wants to pick up and move us to a new state for a job? No problem, let me have my usual 24 hour melt down about it and then Google search the heck out of whatever the situation may call for. This is how I cope, I get informed.
Well in my attempt to learn all I can about what's in store for us, I also started to look for IVF support forums and groups. Turns out that apparently no one starts posting on these until they're many years and many thousands of dollars into this process with no success. How discouraging! I completely understand that these women need a place to go to vent their frustration and find people who can relate to their unique experiences, but so do I. I need to find people who have had successful treatments or people who haven't started at all and are just trying to find support. Where are these groups?
Don't get me wrong, I feel very blessed to have such a wonderful support system, friends, family, and most of all a wonderful husband that, amazingly, never tires of listening to me whine, cry, and yell about how unfair this whole situation is! I spent so much time preparing for the worst and thinking so negatively, that once we got a little bit of positive news for a change I wanted to cling to that positive thought. We were able to have our own children, no donors or adoption agencies required! I didn't let myself dwell on that fact that we would have to come up with thousands of dollars for this to happen, I was just so caught up in being happy that we had this small piece of good news (and of course being preoccupied with making sure it's not a genetic issue that caused this situation), when I stumbled upon another piece of good news. Maryland law mandates insurance coverage of IVF treatments....it's OK I had to read it again when I first found out too! I was so excited! Not only did we finally have an answer to our baby making problem, but we had a way to make the insurance pay for it! Maybe our luck was FINALLY turning around.
Not so fast....turns out that although Ellis's company meets most of the necessary requirements to fall under this mandate, they are 20-30 people short of covered employees to fall under this mandate. BAM! Knocked back down to earth again...so much for positive thinking. So for now, I'm just trying, with the little bit of energy I have left (thanks to a wonderful cold/sinus issue for taking a good portion of my energy), to stay positive and just wait to see how things pan out when we actually start looking into the process a little more.
**Sorry for the heavy hitting post this week...I needed to vent!!
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